One of realities of being human is death.
No… strike that as well.
Here, let me try this: one of the hardest things about being ANY human is knowing what to say and think about death.
Better… we will go with that and move on.
Today I officiated a memorial service for a 30 year women who died of a drug overdose. Her life was difficult in numerous ways but as testified to by family and friends, she always wanted to become more than her circumstances. She had two children – a 16 year old and a 4 year old. Her parents were divorced and remarried. Her husband speaks very little English. All of this came pouring into the meeting room at the church as we planned for this memorial service. They had been recommended to our church through a series of connections. As we sat and discussed the service, her father pushed a stack of CDs over to me with track numbers. “These are songs that she liked – ones that remind us of her and that she loved to sit and listen to,” he said. I looked them over: Sarah McLachlan, Mariah Carey, and… Metallica. “Have you heard of them?” he asked. One of the tracks he choose was “Nothing Else Matters” from Metallica’s 1981 “Black” album. “These are going to be great,” I said “these will be… awesome.”
“Nothing Else Matters” is a slow burner to be sure. Written as a goth ballad, Metallica’s lead singer James Hetfield wrote this song with only one hand strumming an Em chord while he was on the phone with his girlfriend. Since he held the phone with one hand (remember, this is 1991 and no bluetooth and cell phones were still the size of minivans but at least down from the monster trucks of the 80’s), he plucked the four open strings of a standard Em chord with the other, which eventually made up the first two bars of the song. It is a song of separation and a deep desire to get closer written with one hand holding onto the connection to what keeps him alive in this life and using the other to grasp at whatever will turn our longing, our hope, our love into an anthem large enough to fill stadiums. It is a song written so as to not forget what it means to be alive, and to give that gift of life to others through love and faith. The song is about longing for something more and seemed to fit perfectly for this memorial service. As the family and friends came into the fairly standard church sanctuary, more than a couple or eyebrows were raised as the Metallica tune filled the pews and spilled across floor under the alter and to the foot of the cross that hung on the wall. Tears started to flow as “Nothing Else Matters” became more than a metal ballad but a song of anger, promise and release wound up in chords and bars and rhythm. The open casket with this young women’s body lay there as the song continued on:
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
and nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know
So close, no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters
As the song ran its course, arms covered with more ink than a stack of comic books were rubbing their eyes and waiting for something beyond James Hetfiled’s simple tune as we looked toward the cross that hung over that casket. “Nothing else matters” opened the way for “something else” must matter amidst all this sorrow.
When people ask me what pop music has to do theology, it is in moments like these I wish I could bottle up and hand to the cynics. People get married, celebrate graduations, drive across the country and bury their family members to simple pop songs. People continue to seek after something that surrounds and empowers their lvies and for this reason I don’t believe in the post-Christian jargon some are used to evoking – I have yet to see that era truly in full bloom. However, the notion of the ‘after-Church’ world is certainly true. Granted, the ‘after-Church’ folks could truly benefit from the deep traditions and meaning found in the ancient church made new in their midst. But when death comes screaming into your world people will act like a proverbial drowning man at sea and will grab the most stable and recognizable thing found floating by.
For millions of folks it won’t necessarily be the hymnal in church pews but the song on their iPod that reminds them of hope, faith and love. These crazy songs make sense out of the chaos of life in ways so many other things shoveled at people never does.
I have a picture in my mind of this young women listening to “Nothing Else Matters” as we gathered there and perhaps wishing that as her family and friends gathered in this place they would write one more verse of that song with their very lives – that verse being lives lived in remembering her laughter, her love of the sunshine, her passion for music, and what it means to live out this love with others and in the presense of God who lives with us now.
As the service continued I read aloud of Psalm 23 and Romans 6: 3-9 and spoke of Paul’s promise that death dies and life will truly live at the end of all things and do hope that these words of promise got a grip on folks as they sat there. But I can bet that an old 1991 metal ballad is finding new life tonight for folks and hopefully there is a new verse being written in the lives of this family in deep mourning. That “something else” does matter, that we can reach out not with one hand restrained but embrace each other with both hands fully and experience an even stronger embrace of God’s grace and mercy.
Some would say that Metallica came to church today. But I think the gathered were ‘churched’ by James Hetfield and the band in ways we have yet to see the fruit of.