Speaking Of Art As Masturbation…

Who’s going to bid on this bitchen Boris Vallejo oil painting of Arnold Shwartzneggar-esque muscle bound Jesus breaking himself off the cross? Starting bid $9,000, Jimmy! It’s from the 60’s and on masonite! Perhaps this painting was the inspiration for the “Lord’s Gym” t-shirt?


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  1. OMG Bill – I actually cany believe this painting – I am stunned into silence! I remember visiting Stirling in Scotland and there is a chainsaw statue at the visitor center. The statue is of Wliiam Wallace, who fought the English on the sight. The “artist” was a man on the dole and feeling bad about himself…until he saw “Braveheart”. Inspired by the heroism of William Wallace, he forsook his life on the couch and picked up a chainsaw and began creating his masterwork. The statue is of Mel Gibson playing William Wallace. Your painting reminds me of it way too much…

  2. how much trouble would i get into if I said…

    “was this th einspiration for ‘the passion'”?

  3. Another aside – there was a movement in the 19th Century toward what is called “Muscular Christianity” – the notion that a christian had is be’strong’ in order to be ‘faithful’- much like current foreign policy!

  4. okay, jimmy – i accept your neologism, then. 🙂

    this picture frightens me. what ever art is, this is not…

  5. Where would Dungeons & Dragons, not to mention many a ’70s-style molester-van, be without Boris Vallejo’s unique contribution to the visual arts?

    On a side note … this painting makes me recall the episode of South Park Brannon H. and Michael D. showed me a couple of weeks ago, in which Cartman becomes a Christian musician. One of my favorite lyrics: “Everytime I see Jesus up on that cross I can’t help but think that he looks kind of hot.”

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