stroking my polemic…

or “final thoughts on U2, ZooDog”

Remember the Rocky and Bullwinkle show? The announcer would pronounce the title of the episode, and then say “or…” and give ti another title that had nothig to do with the first but somehow made everything clearer.

So, this is my FINAL post on U2.

I DO not like U2, i do not LIKE them with green eggs and ham, I do NOT like them, sam I am!

Unfortuantely, those of you still stuck in the “modern” mindset, unlike us advanced post-moderns, sometimes have a dififcult time understanding that an individual may just not LIKE something. In such a case, the forementioned “moderns” insist on cramming the forementioned “something” down the formeentioned “post-moderns” throat while standing on a chair and screaming, “NIEN! They ARE the greatest band in the world!”

To you, I say, I have TRIED to liek U2… twice even. I actually BOUGHT Rattle and Hum in the late 80’s and at then was reminded of the old jazz standard “is that all there is? if that’s all there is my friend, then let’s keep dancing, let’s break out the booze and have a ball, if that’s all…. there… is.” Furthermore, in this new millenium, I once again attempted to achieve unity with my spouse and listenned to several U2 records. I tried, i TRIED, dammit. And, those guys just suck.

Furthermore, I remember a time we occasionally call “the early 80’s”. I rmember during that period being ridiculed, teased, picked on, and generally marginalized for like something called “punk rock”. And, these antagonists to my innocent protganaism, what were THEY listenning to? Led Zeppelin, Iron Maiden, AND U2! All flowing from their ghetto blasters tuned to 95.5 KLOS from the back of their dad’s pick up truck parked in that god forsaken high school lot.

And, finally, Henry Rollins and Ian Mackaye. Ian was a part of two, count them TWO music revolutions and Rollins has been musically out of touch and unimportant for decades. And, to get it all out on the table, I have enver liked Rollins music, and remember sitting in Matthew Cleary’s bedroom reading Flipside cartoon strips about hwo the long haired Rollins had ruined Black Flag – and AGREEING!

There, I said it all.


Leave a Comment

  1. All I know is that the last time I had so much fun in a conversation/debate with Jimmy was when were trying to decide if it was appropriate, or useful, to play Modest Mouse’s “Shit Luck” in a worhip service. I think I won that one simply because I was the guitar player (not the intellectual or spiritual superior).

    Edge is my Navigator

  2. I think anyone who likes both U2 and Iron Maiden should be punished in cruel and unusual ways until they renounce either one or the other.

    It’s kinda like when Rob in High Fidelity says to Laura: “Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelis and the Palestinians.”

    Now I’ve mentioned High Fidelity twice. It’s about time for someone who hated that film to go off about how much lame and derivative it is so we can get all hot-n-bothered in another debate (the theological ones just don’t seem to get as feisty!).

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